Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The opposite of meHere goes again. The sick of love and mentally torture. He had his own thinking which I can't change his and I had my own thinking which he can't change me. Both of us just don't click. But why are we still staying together? Because of the love that we had so far and we can't leave each other. Or both of us stuck in the love life which we can't get out.
He was once had a feeling to a gerl, at the same time in love with me. Is his love is so powerful like mine? Then, why now he come back to me with no feeling to the gerl that he share her love? What happen to the feeling? Or he trying to backfire me?
I know I can't live without him and he can't live without me. But with the hatred and hurt is still there. He had alot of gerls waiting for him to be single and they will make the first move. I will be the one bitting my fingernails. If that the life have to be then, let it be. I know some guy who I had known trying their hard to save me. Just to say thank you so much for letting me stand back. But I can't just let him go. I had make promise to myself, not to him. You guy have to understand me. Its not the hope I had given to you but its the fallen trees that you had been gone through.
He have to keep all the contact of the gerl who still waiting for them. He wouldn't know they are still lining up for him and willing to wait. Like people say, girlfriend can break, enggage can broken and marriage can divorce. This is reality which he had not seen yet. I don't know what to do with his character. Most of friends gave me the same advice, "You stay with hin, you have to accept his secret life. If you feel hurt, then leave him alone. Even you have to kill yourselves." Well that is a good advice I will take.
Well, back to my old life with secret. I know I can't make him as my best friend, close friend and platonic friends. He still as status of Hubby. Even though his status is unknown in his facebook. Let other gerl take her heart and once he fall in love again, I will definately leave. To the guys who already run away from my life. Too bad if you think its all over. Seem that you also give up so easily on me. Is that what you call 'love to me'? I definately called it 'crush'
So don't love me and I will continue with my own path. My own path is my own plan for my own future. Now I just don't care about what he going to do. My mind is prepare that he will love another gerl and I leave him with tears and sorrow. None of the guys in this world can make me happy, incuding him.
p/s: S & S just a dream that wouldn't exist.
Blogged @ 5:22 PM
